My Neighbor's Farmer's Blues!

This post is once again dedicated to my neighbor, ol Farmer Ed! I snuck over to his property on my humble tractor with the oldest two girls in tow today and snapped some photo's!

The Farmhouse....(yeah, it is blurry, but my nickname is Jitters so deal with it)

To understand his viewpoint, I will offer to you the lyrics to "Farmer's Blues" by Marty Stuart....

I do long to experience more of ol' Ed's life and the experiences he has endured.....I think I'm gonna buy a six pack and package up some fresh bluegills and interview ol' Ed...More to come on that! Here is the song:

Who'll buy my wheat, who'll buy my corn,

To feed my babies when their born?

The seeds and dirt, a prayer for rain, that I can use.

I work the land, I watched the sky,

I talk to God and wonder why,
But it's the only life I know, these Farmer's blues.

CHORUS

I see the seasons come and go, sending rain, fire and snow.

I'm at the mercy of it all, this life I choose.

Sometimes I hang my head and cry, when That evening train goes by,

Wish it could take me far away, these Farmer's blues.

The tractor's broke, the fence is down,

Put on my suit and go to town.

And ask for a loan, that I know well, they might refuse.

But back at home, still by my side,

The one I love with worried eyes,

Waits for me, to love away,

these Farmer's blues.

We ran out of gas while snapping the pictures and I had to go get more GAS! Typical of how my life goes.....But what precious memories and a glimpse of a pastime that slowly passes by the wayside.....Farming.....

Birthday Bluegills and My Favorite Movie!

Well, it happened. 32. 32 years. Yep. I've survived 32 years. The last 13 years I have survived off God's good blessings and the fruit produced by my own hand. I don't want a cookie...It is shocking to me that I am only 8 years from 40 now. I still get i.d.'d for cigarettes....Last year, I was asked to see my identifcation when going to see an R rated movie....WOW. I do see the slight signs of wear on my body.....Hope the ol' ticker lasts.....

Any good "almostgunlaker" fan knows what my favorite movie is.....It shows the plight of man and the struggle of life.....That's right, my brother surprised me with a special birthday surprise...."Walk the Line". Each birthday I try and think of one thing I'm thankful for about myself. So, here's to my beautiful blue eyes.....

Thanks Bro'.....He is out on Lake Michigan right now as I speak.....He has the sickness too! Today I went out on a secret spot and got my State of Michigan limit of Bluegill in just less than 2 hours......25 keepers! A couple dinks but man are they good fried up fresh with some coleslaw!!!

Happy BDAY! Here's to another 32! (Wait, that would be 64.) Here's to another 64 years of punishing this ol' body and sucking the marrow out of life!

Just a tad of reminiscing here, but the following are jobs that I have held over my 32 years:

Car detailer, Carpet Cleaner, Window Maker, Camp Counselor, Lifeguard, Police Officer, Security Guard (ooooh! that is a good post all in itself!) , Sewage Reclamation Specialist, Screen Printer (shirts/hats), Painter, Fireman, EMT, Weed Picker and Onion/Celery Processor, man-the list keeps going on!

Lake Michigan

My fishing sickness has reached new levels as last weekend I went to Port Sheldon and Holland for some early spring fishing.

The only thing I caught was a sinus infection!

It goes without saying that 4' waves are a little much for a 14' boat! Maybe I don't want to be a crab fisherman on the Bering Sea!

Seafoam, Ice Trolling, and Boat Upgrades

Today I ventured out and met with an old friend! She was cold but inviting.....A familiar sight of "sea foam" welcomed me at the boat launch...

It seems that my sick infatutation with fishing is growin worse and worse each year. You may as well call this "ice trolling" as I was along side the ice which still clings on to stay. You will not last long! Spring is nearly here!

This year's adventures are upgraded to completion with a bigger boat (courtesy of my brother)....

Banana Seat Schwinn Bikes and Daddy's Boots

I must tell you of a life altering experience that happened to me while growing up. Looking back now I was very blessed growing up in the home I did. We had everything we needed and more because of our hard working parents. Only now that I am older do I see how my parents must have struggled to pay for a new house, two cars, and all the accessories that 3 kids needed.

It never once crossed my mind that perhaps I was being slightly ungrateful as I tooled around one summer on my beautiful red Schwinn bike. When the bike was purchased, it was the hottest thing around for kid's fashion that summer. You know what I'm talking about, the ol' Schwinn with the "banana seat". The bike was a beauty with a red frame, shiny chrome fenders, and a chrome chain guard. You could drive this baby full speed through a puddle and those flashy fenders would ford off all the water so that you narely got even a drop of muddy water on your white tube socks with stripes pulled up to the knees.

However, being naive and unaware of the constant daily sacrifice my parents battled of showing up to work each and every day for what could have been pure misery (which later I found out was the case as my father's company ended up giving him a heart attack), the discontent of my summer blossomed one day as I stood at the crab apple tree near the end of our driveway.

You see, I was pouting. I had a new vision of what I wanted. This vision was spawned by the lust in my eyes as I observed several neighbors riding new BMX bikes. Their black "mag" wheels, flashy bar pads, and pure chrome frames eclipsed my mind with infatuation. I had already approached my parents and diplomatically enlightened them with my newest need and was taken back with what I see now to be a frequent answer I give: "maybe next year sweetie." As this screaming want grew at a tumorous rate inside my mind, I formulated a plan for action. We shall call it an "accelerator" to what I wanted to take place-getting that new BMX bike.

In pure genious-istic picturesque form, an idea so cunning and evil snapped into my young mind, I grinned. As I glanced at this crab apple tree with its poisonous red berries and small pokey thorns, I knew what I had to do. "Just break the thorn off the tree, and puncture the tire. Flat tire, new bike. " Perfection. Almost. Make that two popped tires. Even better.

As I swaggered toward the house with my faux grimace to tell my mother of the news, I focused on keeping a sad look on my face even though the satisfaction of my lofty plan being carried out made my brain fire with ecstasy.

Upon reaching my dear mother, I saw the look on her face and immediately recognized the fact that I now had a major problem. The intelligent smile on her face made me suspicious as I began to tell of this disaster of my two tires being flat and the fact that I would need a new bike or be unable to ride all summer. She softly looked at me and said, "Gene, I saw you pop the tires. You can speak to your father when he gets home."

At that moment, I believe I experienced what the occupant of a plummeting plane headed for peril must feel like. My stomach sunk as though I had just fallen off a large cliff and was speeding toward the dangerous jagged rocks below.

After scolding from my father and being bikeless for several weeks, the tires were patched and I soon fell back in love with that ol' Schwinn. The freedom that little red wonder provided me for several summers and the wonderful memories I have including being surrounded by several other neighborhood kids to admire the machine after having beat their BMX's in overall speed, performance, and comfort.

However, that plummeting feeling I experienced knowing my plan had been foiled was nothing compared to what I experienced several days later. This sickening, heart-wrenching pain occurred through self discovery. I clearly recall when the error of my selfishness hit me. It was when I saw my father napping on the couch after a hard weeks work filled with overtime and what I now am familiar with, STRESS. You see, as I gazed upon this sleeping man who was literally knocking minutes off his life each day to toil and provide for me, the sight of his toes sticking out of the torn afghan and the holes in his socks caused a tear to form in my eyes. And when I glanced to the base of the couch, I saw his worn boots that were much in need of repair. They were weathered, torn, and well past the time of their use.

I weeped.

I got that BMX on my birthday the next year. And it's funny that some 22 years later, I can hardly remember what it looked like. I do have a vivid memory of his boots. Today, as I picked up my own boots to go to work, I smiled.

Tuna and Noodles and this weeks "Big Ol' Fish"

Now that this beast is finally up and running I have to pull the plug and drain this exploding mind of mine! I have so many emails from folks with pics and submissions for the ol' blog that it's going to take me a while to catch up..

A good old friend from years past has sent in his submission for some real southern fishing.

Without disclosing too much as he defends our flag on the entire planet , here are some beautiful pics of tuna that ol "Noodles" roped in off the coast of Nicaragua....Beautiful job! Here is this weeks "Big Ol Fish" segment

Nice work! Good to see your face old friend.

My Hot New Hairdo!

Few things in life boost my day better than a fresh new haircut. After letting my hair grow out a bit, I went and got a new fresh look today! Yeah, some may say it's how I used to wear my hair but man does it feel good!

Coyote!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a wild fantasy that I have yet to partake in.

Someday soon, I will indulge. It seems as though whenever the time nears something comes up and I'm unable to go and accomplish this feat.

A good friend has accomplished this task and conquered a wary smart animal.

The wild Coyote in it's natural habitat is one of the most intelligent animals and it's senses are so keen that few capture it. Ol' wild Al managed to harvest this beautiful female Coyote on his first trip! Congrats!

3,2,1 Contact!

Well folks, we are back! Some crabby friends just got a new computer and gave us their old one to use until I make the big purchase and pole vault into the new era of technology.

Much has happened in the time we have been out of service.....I keep taking paper and writing down new ideas for blog posts as they flash into my mind....I have so many neat ideas for spring and can't wait to share them with you....Here's a glimpse of the titles:

Dirty Snow Slush

My Failed Spring Spawn Run

U.P. Tent Camp Photos

Shit is Breaking Left and right!

2yr old fridge and freezer=broke.
My home computer=broke.

Updates soon when I get enough yen to buy a new computer!

Love,
Jitters

Music Codes - MySpace Layouts

Maybe I shouldn't have got rid of the Chevy "CAMO VAN"

Just listen to a little classic Waylon Jennings here in "Chevy Van"....Taste the words....

I gave a girl, a ride in my wagon
She crawled in, and took control
She was tired, Lord her mind was a draggin'
I said, "get some sleep and dream of rock an roll."

Like a picture she was layin' there
Moonlight dancin off her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy Van and thats alright with me

Her young face, was like that of an angel
Her long legs, were tan and brown, Lord
Better keep your eyes on the road son, better slow this vehicle down

Like a picture she was layin' there
Moonlight dancin' off her her
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy Van, and that's alright with me!

The Red Rocket Thunder Devil Gun!

Well, you were right. And you know who you are. I did take the hit. But you were partially wrong. There was no peer pressure. No one cussed me out. They only asked the group twice. And for some unknown reason, I did it. Perhaps to prove you wrong as normally you have me pegged.

Yesterday at work, I was scheduled to be trained on use of the TASER device. I think that RED ROCKET THUNDER DEVIL DANCER GUN is a more appropriate name. As I sat in the training I listened to the instructor offer out the "voluntary exposure" to us as class members, I suddenly became very curious. As they say, curiousity killed the cat. I had to feel what this TASER actually was. I wanted to taste it. Life is made up of experiences you know. I'm like the Wolf in the henhouse wanting a taste of that sweet chicken. So, as the group left to meander over to the "room" where the Hell would be unleashed, under no ones pressure I began seriously contemplating taking this "voluntary exposure." I decided I would head out for a smoke and think this thing over briefly. I stepped outside, lit one up, and began thinking of my "mission statement" on my blog which is to "suck the marrow out of life" and said, "you gotta do it man." I puffed that cig down, jumped on the elevator, and began taking off my belt and vest. I saw some surprised looks on people's faces as I burst into the DT room wearing my white undershirt. I was ready for the pain.

I was sweating and pacing. I watched several others take the 5 second ride of thunder and began to question what I was thinking and if I had the personal strength to follow through with it. Next thing I knew, I was lunging to the front of the onlookers and being supported by two others under my armpits. As I faced away I heard a deep voice say, "you ready Jitters?" I replied I was and the next thing I heard was "TASER, TASER, TASER!" A quick pop, a feeling of a slight impact as the barbs stuck into my flesh, and then........

Sweet Jehosaphat! I

I SANG LIKE A TENOR! I think I said STOP! four hundred ninety three times. I must say the only way to explain it was as though someone shoved an electric charged broomstick into my ass and pulled the trigger while I was standing in 6' of water. I wanted it to stop, this wretched thing I felt rocketing through my body. My ass and leg and muscles felt like somebody had launched a barrage of bombs inside them......I hung on as I continued to yell STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP until the five seconds (which felt like 25 seconds) was over. The pain was immediately gone.....Wow.

My advice to all is, if you see this on a Cop's belt,

FOLLOW DIRECTIONS VERY CAREFULLY!

For those who have never experienced this and think I may be exhibiting signs of being a puscus, watch this video of a 1500 lb bull getting thrown on its ass!

http://www.taser.com/law/videos04.htm

This incident was videotaped and I can't wait to get a copy! 5 seconds of 50,000 volts....

(I must admit that a contributing factor to taking the TASER was that perhaps I would stop being jittery and maybe it would clear the gnats out of my head. It didn't work)

Lovin' Lobster

Valentines Day. Who thought of it anyway?

Today was a special Valentines Day for my girls......I made Lobster, Steak, Rolls, and Parmesan Encrusted Asparagus. Each received a beautiful flower and a kiss/hug from me.

Myspace Layouts :: Funny Videos :: Music Video Codes

Push play to watch "These Farmer's Blues" by Marty Stuart with special guest Merle Haggard.

Good Neighbors, No Fences.

I'm basking in a couple days off! I went out today and took the ol' tank snowblower through the deep thick drifts.....I noticed a good friend cleaning out his driveway as well.

The old saying "Good fences make good neighbors" doesn't hold water down here where I live....This post is the first formal introduction to that neighbor I've spoke of many times. The Farmer!

Almostgunlaker fans, I introduce you to another part of my life that I treasure. This old man toils each day starting early to maintain his farm. Today I want you to step back in time and see his tractor. The soft thump thump thump of his tractor working away can be heard well in my house and I always have to grin when that familiar sound fills my ears. You will notice that most of what is on the piece of time is homemade. Here he is plowing his driveway!

I have long discussions with this man about his views on life, how much he hates watching his country get run down, and I observe his undying steadfast drive each day to keep on keepin' on! As far as I'm concerned we don't need fences down here! I will be following up this spring with a post with an in depth look into his beautiful farm for you all to enjoy....

Here's a salute to you Farmer Ed (even though I tried to explain what the internet was and you told me it was "a bunch of hogwash!")

Another Favorite!

This large ship lies at the bottom of Lake Superior, all hands lost.

"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call Gitchagumee.
The lake it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of November turn gloomy"

Ever Heard of Bill Withers?

Until today as I watched the movie "Munich" I never knew who sung this song. What a classic.



Take some time and watch "Munich" when you can, a very good movie. It does have some real violence about the retalitory killings which occurred after the slaughter of Israeli's at the Olympics.

The New TEAM T Home Defense Gun

Homeade Pizza's and Baby Boys

Ok, even though we haven't reached the anniversary date yet, I have something I need to get off my chest.....No holdin' back....


As I snowblowed today I had to stop and laugh at a sign I saw hanging on the anal neighbors house.....Do you remember the post about him and how organized his life was? Type in "Dandelions, Dishwashers, and Dissapointing My Neighbors" in the "search blog" box up above for further understanding. I stopped in full stride behind the old snowblower and had to shut if off as I looked in wonder at this sign.



I could not believe what I saw. Have you ever noticed that for some people, everything goes right? I'm talking about the people that have a 5500 square foot house, earn outrageous money, their wife looks like she just stepped out of the Victoria's Secret Catalog, they have every toy imaginable, and they are always smiling?



The sign said, "Its a Boy!"



Big deal you say, right? I must tell you of the severe longing I had inside me as each one of my children were born. That longing was to have a son. My own son. My little buddy for hunting, fishing, guy talk, working on cars. You know, A SON. I must tell you how miffed I was as each of my four children were girls. Now before you start cursing me, I will tell you that I recognize the selfishness and self pity I endulged in about this issue. I have harbored much anger and frustration over the fact that somehow it was not in God's plan for me to have a son. I have been involved in some pretty frank conversations with Him about this issue and wonder if my candacy was insubordinate.



On the flip side, I am so happy that God has blessed me with four beautiful healthy girls. They are all healthy. How can I complain? I love them so much.....



To continue this temper tantrum I get so frustrated when I go into a home and see a boy who has no idea who his father is. I have boldly screamed at God on many occasions about the fact I feel slighted and don't understand how He could hold back this longing I have.



Beyond my personal inner desire, an important issue is at stake: MY FAMILY'S NAME! As of today's date, the Team T name is dead. D-E-A-D. My father had three brothers and four sisters. That is 8 kids including him. One of his brothers passed away in a car accident many years ago. This left my dad and two brothers. Neither of my two uncles had boys which carried on the Team T name. My dad had my brother and I. As to date, (and unless a miracle occurs) the entire family name rests on my brother. He has yet to marry. (That's a lot of pressure). What an honor to be able to pass on the family name. I failed in this regards.



I have worked long past this issue and although it still frustrates me I embrace and love each one of my beautiful girls. I thank God for blessing me with them. And I stand unable to question why he blesses so many worthless and uncaring people with sons.



Most of all, I can only imagine the pain in watching His own Son be crucified.





Man..............................I was going to try and elaborate about the pizza I made tonight.....But after letting all that out, I will just show you the picture. It was a good pizza.

Wayland Waylon

This is one of my most favorite soft ballads from Ol' Waylon Jennings...

"Turn it all Around"

You can see forever standin' on a mountain top
The only way to break the drop, is to find the long way down.

It's not that I'm complainin'
I know I've had my day
I'd just like to find a way
To Turn It All Around.

Boots and jeans and diamond rings
Limousines that I got for a song
Knowin' all along the way, I'll wake up one day
and find it gone...

TEAM T OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE

As of today, I updated to the new blogger....Which means nothing to you all other than I found 68 comments which you have all sent and I never saw before! 68 precious morsels that I never knew about until today. I went through and published them all. I don't know why they hadn't come to me before but they are all on their now!

The meeting of the TEAM T Oversight Comittee has been adjourned!

Two Big Dates Are Upon Us!

Two big dates are coming upon us folks, in just a week or so we will be celebrating a phenomenal resource in my life.....An outlet of anguish, a tablet of my ramblings......A journal of my joys, woes, and trivial everyday life.....ALMOSTGUNLAKERS will soon be one year old....I am planning a big celebratory post for the one year anniversary.....I must warn you to be excited and also to know that I will be bringing some items to the forefront that I only spoke of in code on this blog....Some will be angered, turned away, others intrigued.....Some will embrace it and others will flee.......GET READY! I am opening up even further....

The other day which approaches is Valentines Day. I must admit that I get more sentimental and in touch with my inner emotions as I get older......Which brings me to tell you of a few things which I love:

The sweet breath and warm embrace of my beautiful daughters as they sparkily tell of some exciting moment in their young lives.....

The torque and pull of a lively monster fish on my line.......

The wonderful relaxing feeling I get when I swing open the door to my castle after a 36 hour weekend of work only to see a pin-neat kitchen and living room....And the fresh smell of clean linen.....And to see my tired wife who toiled for this spotlessness sleeping softly in a warm bed....

The angel like countenance of my mother as she gleefully passes a basket of homemade valentines for my daughters.....All at 0640 in the morning as she got up early and drove to cater to my odd schedule....The passion she has for her unselfish serving of others and the truly Christ like manner in which she delivers her loving servant craft.....

The heavy fog on a warm lake as the sun cracks above the horizon as I slowly motor and throw my lines into the deep abyss.....

The tangy quench of sour mash whiskey after a belly full of fresh fried fish and bitter coleslaw....The contrast of an orange glowing embered cigarette on my lips.....

Brisk morning air and birds hammering away their early day chorus of joy.....

The strong pull of my Jeep in four wheel drive launching forward as the sky spits wafer sized snowflakes....

My dear sister who really knows and laughs at the depths of my craziness.......Her unfaltering pursuit of that which is Holy, Just, Righteous, and her undying vaults to partake in all life has to offer beside the everyday worldly rush in spite of all who would question her....

My dear father and his unquivering wisdom as I tell of what struggles I have......The calm re-assurance in his voice as he says, "son, I've been there."

A hot shower cascading on sore muscles and a peach apricot shampoo/conditioner soaking in my hair.......and overloading my senses......

The hot panting of my lover in my ear as I hold her tightly in my grasp....

The thump-thump-thumping of the ol' farmer's antiquated tractor across the street as he flawlessly careens across the field dragging a disc for yet another season of harvest. To watch his perfect execution of steering with a feather's grasp on the steering wheel all the while his gaze rearward at the fresh earth he has uncovered and tossed asunder for the 100th time......

Natalie's beautiful smile and gaze as I break, smash, and spill one more thing and the confidence in her eyes that she saw it coming all the while....

The familiar garbled voice of my brother as I flip open my cellphone and hear, "what'r'u'doin Gene?" The ease in which I can tell him of my struggles, laugh of his, and share in our common passion for ADVENTURE..........The ease of which we can begin garbling the words "allright" and simultaneously hang up on eachother without malice as the conversation dies....

Roaring fires....

The final click of handcuffs on a demon who has pilfered and stole innocence....

The roar of a siren and flashing strobe lights nearing close as I struggle with one much larger than me.....Only hoping to hold on long enough for that warrior behind the wailing siren and burning strobe light tubes to arrive and help me tie up the evil and haul it away for a too temporary incarceration.....

Big snowflakes.......

The hot glow and desolate warmth of an ice fishing shanty in the middle of a lake in darkness.....As I pull up a lunker Crappie through the ice......

The puffy softness of a dear pet snuggling and snoring softly against my leg.......Unaware of the toils and struggles of daily life.....

November, December, July, October, June-.....

A really big fat ass crazy big paycheck!

Ol' School Country.....Waylon, Willie, Merle, George, Don Williams, Paycheck......Nora Jones......

God in all his majesty.

My wife.


These things I love. These things are such a part of my soul you could not separate them with the finest of scalpels in the best surgeon's hand......

My Kick Ass Snowblowin' 1986 Monster!

This wonderful blizzard we were blessed with has boosted my spirits! I love the feeling of adventure and bitter freezing cold as I arrive home from work in the morning and fire up the old orange monster! It seems that although I have a nice circle drive and a long driveway back to the TEAM T SERVICE GARAGE I can't get enough of snowblowin! This ol' bitch fires the snow like its full of buckets of anger! Man how much I enjoy coming home and throwing snow like a 6'4" bouncer throwing a little drunk guy out of a country tavern after he kicked out the footlights and grabbed the waitress!





Sometimes I can't get enough and go up into the yard just to widen the swath of destruction a little bit. After all, it's my grass and I'll widen the driveway it if I see the need!

I am amazed how this ol' machine rifles through the snow and seldomly bogs down. Hats off to this ol' orange monster.....She does her job with pride!

Best of all, this ol' monster has electric start. Just plug it in and push the button to crank over the machine until she fires while you cradle a softly aged Milwaukees Best Light! It is too bad I had to wait until I was almost 32 years old before I could enjoy the snow and not have to worry about shoveling.

I have vivid memories of shoveling the driveway since I was about 9 years old. I used to be so upset when the snow poured down and I knew that I would have to go and shovel for hours. And I never was a real big guy so it took all the energy I had. I still remember seeing the neighbor snowblowing away with his 10 horse 1984 snowthrowing monster and how jealous I was. I do recall on occasion faining death and exhaustion in the driveway as I shoveled hoping he would drive that thing over and finish our driveway......And you know, he never did!

That gives me a great idea. I think I'm going to get up early and surprise a random person with a drive by driveway snowblow today......Watch for the update!

And p.s., the robotic guy on the automated radio weather channel said that a mere 20 minutes with exposed flesh today will result in it freezing......Cover up the skin!

Whiskey River

Here's an ol Willie Nelson Classic!

Whiskey river take my mind

Don't let her memory torture me

Whiskey river don't run dry

You're all I've got to take care of me.