2nd Grade Humiliation!

Today was my oldest daughters 2nd grade "Special Person Day" at school and she requested my presence as a speaker.

I was so excited to be able to let all the school boys know good and early that if they had any intentions of dating her, she was available in just 18 short years from now. I was thrilled I would finally be able to let these boys, who would be in High School in about 6 years, know that dating my daughter would not be cool as her dad was a "cop" and not a friendly person. This was the image I wanted to portray to these boys who would soon be oogling my daughter:

I should make it clear that I did not bring a shotgun to a school and actually wore my work uniform and spoke to the class about my job. The whole mean overprotective dad with a shotgun facad is a mere fantasy. I can't imagine some boy dating my daughter.

I saw the sparkle in my daughter's eye as I strolled into the room in full uniform. I must admit it was one of my most proudest moments to date.....................But in typical TEAM T fashion, things went aw-ry.

After fielding questions from the attentive and bubbling with energy 2nd graders, I was taken off guard when one small boy raised his hand. He then walked over and pointed to the wall. His question was, "IS THIS YOU IN THIS PICTURE, SIR?"

I walked over to his location and saw big as life a picture on the wall and a caption below that read, "MY DAD." I calmy looked at him and said, "yes, that's me." I felt the butterflies take off in the pit of my stomach and a cool brisk perspiration ooze from all the pores in my body. I knew what the next question was.......and within a few seconds, out it came.....It was best catagorized as a statement rather than a question...

.

.

.

.

.

"I DIDN'T KNOW COPS COULD SMOKE."