THE OL' BITCH CALLED GUN LAKE

Have you ever noticed that most sea stories use potty mouth language? I'm talking about "SEA-HAG, THE OL' MAN AND THE SEA, THE OL' BITCH,"

Well my fellow friends, THE SEAS WERE ANGRY TODAY! SPITTIN' MAD!

By today, I mean Thursday May 12-2006. Today, I threw on several layers of clothes, a rain suit, and a life jacket, and I headed out.......

WEATHER CONDITIONS: HIGH WINDS, 2-3 FOOT WAVES, HEAVY RAIN, 49 DEGREES.

This equals what a loony relative calls "good suicide weather"....


After 2 hours, bailing out the ol' boat three times, ripping the crotch out of my Eddie Bauer rain suit, having the Michigan DNR summer creel survey boat run over my line as he tried to get close as he thought I was sinking......Sinking? My oh my.....I was fishing....I know there was only 2" of the SS JITTERS not taking water over the side and 9" of water in the bottom of the boat, but I WAS FISHIN DAMNIT!


Long story short, when you can't fish because you have to bail ur boat every 40 mins and you catch a 3" bluegill while trolling for walleye.......GO THE HELL HOME!

AND LET IT ALL DRY OUT!


So as I headed home, I neared the boat launch and much to my wet ass' surprise, I noticed a DNR car parked with a guy watching me......I felt sick as I knew I had failed to pay the mandatory $5 launch fee.....I thought, "does this guy really so overinvested in his job that he is gonna yell at me and give me a ticket because I didn't pay the launch fee in the tube?" So, I hammered down (11.2mph) and headed back out into the ol' bitch.....I got into a channel, found COOP'S dad's new house on accident, drove by it laying in the bottom of my boat motionless, and kept checking on that fish cop car.......20 mins, 40 mins, 1 hr, HELL, THIS GUY IS WAY OVERINVESTED! I wanted to go home so bad, I was soaked!

Then I began to reason...."wait a minute dummy, thats a County launch......Allegan County......and thats a state DNR fishcop car......he doesn't enforce the launch tube!!!!!!!!!Wooooooooooo!"

I headed on in......It was the same damn summer DNR volunteer out doing the fish creel survey that ran over my line! He was so worried about me that he went to go home (after running over my line and checking on me) and stopped in the park to watch me to see if I got in to the launch o.k.....

"What are you doing? I've been sitting here waiting for you to get on land so I don't have to worry about you drowning?"

I smiled and said, "I was fishing........Just fishing......."

DONT SMELL THE ROSES, EAT EM!

You must take a moment of your life and stop and EAT THE DAMN ROSES. Lick em, taste em, then eat em. Don't just smell em........put em right down the ol' hatch!

TeamT got to eat em today.......Freshly picked and breaded MOREL FRIGGIN MUSHROOMS fried to perfection! Accompanied by fresh pan fried GUN LAKE WALLEYE, HOMEADE COLESLAW, AND SOME BEAUTIFULRIFFIC WINE!


DON'T MISS IT FOLKS, THIS IS YOUR LIFE! TODAY IS YOUR LIFE!

FISH COPS!

Just a reminder to all us sportsmen/women......follow the rules!




It's been a long time since I ran into a C.O. and had anything to worry about, and I'd like to keep it that way!

OH BE CAREFUL LIL 'EYES' WHAT YOU SEE!

I know this picture makes me look like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but these are 100% certified POLARIZED FISHING GLASSES.....HELL, I'M 31, FOUR KIDS, I AIN'T TRYING TO IMPRESS ANYBODY ANYMORE.........


Like mom used to sing to us, "Oh be careful little "eyes" what you see. Oh be careful little (wall)eyes what you see!"........Today was a major accomplishment for me! About a year of planning, buying gear, THE SUPER WALLEYE CLINIC, and asking four point six million questions, I CAUGHT MY FIRST WALLEYE ON GUN LAKE! (in the USA-got some in Canada, but hell, they are like bluegills in Canada) I WAS SO PUMPED! I called everybody and told them!


I must apologize because when I called my fisherman buddies, I thought it was 19.5"...........After I got it home and measured it, without it flopping around in the boat, IT WAS 20.5"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEAM-T STRIKES AGAIN!

And for all the naysayers, I included a measuring tape photo with a STANLEY/CRAFTSMAN tape and a MILWAUKEE'S BEST LIGHT for reference beeeeeeeeeeeeyotches!

The sickness grows.....and grows.....and grows.....We got a full scale WALLEYE TUMOR GOIN' ON HERE FOLKS!!!! AND DADDY AIN'T SEEKIN' ANY TREATMENT BUT DOCTOR PRESCRIBED COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF TROOOOOLLLLLLLLING! (check out the blog on Saturday, goin' MOREL hunting to have a deluctuous spring honey beautSCRUMPTUOUS morel and walleye dinner with roasted parmesan asaparagus and smokin' hot homeade garlic cheeserific toast with a side of fresh WEIK'S OVERPRICED DELI OF GUN LAKE coleslaw!!!!!!!! and of course a beautifulumptuously frosty cold beer! Or perhaps a frostillychilled beautiful cornucopia boqueted' Cherry Wine from GOOD HARBOR VINEYARDS!)

WILDFIRE BURNS OUT OF CONTROL IN MY BACKYARD!!!

What started as just a small bonfire.......


and the ol' "just a couple of branches won't hurt honey, just move your chair back a little bit...."


turned into an inferno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(look carefully for me in the picture to get an idea of how tall the flames are, I'm sitting in a chair!)














Even my son gave me an odd look with the 15' plus flames.....











And with summer coming, had to fire up the new TEAM-T portable tepee for camping this summer!

Just one more day at TEAM-T!

The Sickness Has Taken Form

Let me tell you all about my newest sickness.....For those fellow fisherman out there, you will know what I mean.....

It seems what once started out as a pleasurable way to spend some free time, has developed into a full blown SICKNESS!

Words cannot describe how much I have enjoyed fishing! Last night was the first time the SS TEAM-T took a maiden voyage into the darkness of GUN LAKE.....She is wired for power now! Thats an RV light I wired in for light....T-RASHY but oh so practical!

As an outsider looking in, would ask, WHY AND THE HELL WOULD A GUY GET IN A 12 FOOT OVERLOADED BOAT BY HIMSELF AT DARK AND DRIVE OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE TO TROLL AROUND FOR HOURS?

I'm speaking of hours and hours of trolling back and forth in the pitch dark....The low hum of the Vexilar Depth Finder and the red/yellow/green light it projects into the boat....The low green hue broadcasted onto my face from the Garmin GPS directing my every move and speed....The wind whistling through the taut line on the poles as the lit planer boards cavalcade through the calm night water mimicking the movements of a large sailboat....

Why you ask? Why????

Because it's a sickness ladies and gentleman...

And it is ever evolving......


The only known treatment?

FISH!!!!!

SPRINGTIME MORSELS OF GOLD!!!!!

Here are some beautiful spring time golden honey morsel MORELS that Clo-Clo's and I found today at our top secret spot!


Here they are cleaned up and ready to devour!! In the words of GRANDPA TEAM-T, "they were so good it don't even make no sense".........

If you've never had fresh morels fried up, you need to.....They rival the best lovin' you've ever had in your life!!!!!

TEAM T GOES TO THE BIG WINDY CITY!

TEAM-T LOADED UP AND HEADED WEST!









For the first time in my life, I took a trip to a professional baseball game, the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. I went with five other guys I know....and one I wished I didn't know once beer was consumed....Just kidding!



Lots of firsts this trip....A subway train! Someone should have told me that camo cowboy hats aren't trendy or cool in Chicago! I stuck out like a 14 foot long carp in a 5 gallon bucket! The subway or "red line" as they called it was pretty cool....I did my famous stewardess welcome presentation as to the location of the emergency exits and oxygen masks and hit a guy in the hat and shin on accident. Man there were some hairy people on the train!

I did manage to get ACHMED, a fan sitting nearby, to wear the Barry County CAMO cowboy hat for my picture......Man, the look in those eyes is a little spooky! JIHADDIII HADDDIII HADDII!

Chicago's finest were out around the stadium after the game picking up drunk fans by the nape of the neck and fillin' up the OL' FASHIONED FUN TIME PATTY WAGON!(or is it paddy?) I should note that 1.4 seconds after taking this picture I tripped on a 3" high garden fence and completely bit it! No warning, never saw it comin'! Just instantaneous embarrasment. I realized I had captured the attention of about 3 cops and decided I'd get the heck outta there....MAN WAS I JEALOUS OF THIS TRANSFER VAN!!!!CAN I GET ONE PLEASE???????



We decided to get a somewhat group photo....You will see in this picture that two people are aware a ball is headed directly at us and two people have no idea. Can you pick the difference out? Just like the ol' Sesame Street game 'two of these kids know a ball is coming, two of these kids know a ball is coming..'

As in any big City, it was troubling to me to see all the homeless hustling for money!

And for this guy, well, I'll just let the pictures do the talkin......

It took him exactly 17 minutes at this atm to get it figured out..

Here is what 5 adult males in the back seat of a taxi looks like...

Chicago Memories..........

A BAD BAD DAY FISHING! DISASTER STRIKES!

Where do I start? I loaded up me and the boy and headed out on Gun Lake for some fishing, the first fishing of the year.

What happened next I have never seen in my life. Much to my surprise about 300 yards away from the boat launch at top speed, I reached to grab my pop and let go of the steering handle on the motor......Just as soon as I let go, I realized I had neglected to tighten the bolt that holds the motor going straight.....You guessed it, the motor LURCHED SIDEWAYS AND THE FORCE OF THE PROP SPINNING AT FULL THROTTLE RIPPED THE MOTOR RIGHT OFF THE BACK OF THE BOAT! I CAUGHT A GLANCE OF A SPINNING PROPELLER WHICH CAME WITHIN ABOUT 6" OF MY HEAD AND SAW THE MOTOR FLY OFF THE BACK OF THE BOAT.....I WATCHED MY HARD EARNED $700 DISAPPEAR UNDER THE WAVES AND GO DOWN.....THE BOAT COASTED TO A STOP...

I then reached for the oars. If it wasn't bad already, it got instantly worse.....I FORGOT THE DAMN OARS!

I sat down in my chair, and took a deep breath. I then stood up, took off my boots, socks, AND PANTS. I was happy I wore my camo boxers today so I could salvage a little bit of dignity in front of the other fisherman who all sat in their boats laughing their asses off. Not a single one came to my aid. I dipped my lower body into the ice cold spring water and began kicking....My legs did no where near a good job like that motor did.....It took me 49 minutes to kick all the way to shore....I at one point got so numb that I climbed back into the boat and tried paddling with my large landing net.....This worked terrible. I went to lower myself back in the water about 80 yards from shore and completely lost my balance.......IN I WENT! Right in front of 6 guys who were sitting on the bank as their motorcycles stood silent parked at the launch....My poor son was so confused, when I fell in, he jumped overboard and began swimming away. I had to grab him and hoist him into the motorless boat....

Here is a picture of me at the launch.......Dignity gone...


Let's just say by the time I got to shore, I invented three new curse words and my body was froze!

After my wife dropped the oars off, I rowed back out to the 4' deep water to look for the motor....I had to try and find it so the DNR didn't pull it out of there, run the serial number, and give me a big fat ticket....After about a half hour of searching with my polarized goggles on, I FOUND IT!

The next task was the worse.....I had to jump in and get that bitch off the bottom! Four foot of freezin and I mean freezin ass cold water......Completely submerged, I was in my camo boxers, no socks, standing in muck that went up to my shins.....Pulling that motor off the bottom. As I hoisted the motor up toward the boat, I sunk up to my knees in muck and my mouth was barely above water.....Gas was leaking out of the top of the tank and I got a nice mouthfull of gas/oil/Gun Lake mixture......

I climbed back into the boat, screwed that motor on with all the built up anger, and said a little prayer.....

I pulled for about a minute.......Pulled my guts out......AND THE DAMN THING STARTED!!!!!!!

It ran like a top the rest of the day.......Fish weren't biting but the Nissan 5 horse was crankin!

Today's tally:

• One really shriveled volksvanvagenweaner
• Three new curse words
• Two nasty ass rockbass
• One bluegill
• A mouth full of gas/oil/Gun Lake
• One real close call with a propeller going 1100 rpm
• A son(dog) that will never want to go fishing with me again
• One real good lesson learned......

THE LAW HAT!

Anybody that works with me will know the importance of the "LAW HAT" in my workday....Wearing the hat is not required but I like it and it helps to get respect as people know ur' the law! Above are some pictures of where the "LAW HAT" obsession was born at another place about 10 years ago!

I hope you might consider wearing your hat to work today and stepping up your level of committment to professionalism...

MY FAVORITE POETS

Henry David Thoreau
My life has been the poem I would have writ,
But I could not both live and utter it.


Ralph Waldo Emerson
Give All To Love

Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good-fame,Plans, credit, and the Muse,
-Nothing refuse.
'Tis a brave master;
Let it have scope:
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope:
High and more highIt dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But it is a god,Knows its own path,
And the outlets of the sky.
It was not for the mean;
It requireth courage stout,
Souls above doubt,Valor unbending;
It will reward,-They shall returnMore than they were,
And ever ascending.

Leave all for love;
Yet, hear me, yet,
One word more thy heart behoved
,One pulse more of firm endeavor,-
Keep thee today,
To-morrow, forever,
Free as an Arab Of thy beloved.
Cling with life to the maid;
But when the surprise,
First vague shadow of surmise
Flits across her bosom young
Of a joy apart from thee,
Free be she, fancy-free;
Nor thou detain her vesture's hem,
Nor the palest rose she flung
From her summer diadem.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY SATURDAY EVERYBODY!

THE TEAM-T BREAKFAST DINER OPEN FOR BREAKFAST......








WHEN MY KIDS ALL GROW UP, I'M COMING OVER TO THEIR HOUSE VERY VERY VERY VERY EARLY ON SATURDAY MORNINGS AND RINGING THE DOORBELL...

UNCLE SAM CALLED

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA CALLS.......TEAM-T TO THE STAND!!!!!

WHAT AN HONOR..

WHAT IS MOUSY BROWN?

MY CURRENT FAVORITE CD.....

YET ANOTHER ADVANCEMENT IN REDNECK ENGINEERING!

SAFETY FIRST!

As I tackled yet another car repair project (actually the TEAM-T family truckster) I came upon yet another example of that ol' redneck gene ingenuity comin' out to play.....

The TURKEY-FRYER EMERGENCY CAR JACK SUPPORTER WITH PIECE OF BROKEN MEAT CUTTING BOARD TO MEET THE HEIGHT GAP!

And remember, SAFETY FIRST!!!!!!