THE OL' BITCH CALLED GUN LAKE

Have you ever noticed that most sea stories use potty mouth language? I'm talking about "SEA-HAG, THE OL' MAN AND THE SEA, THE OL' BITCH,"

Well my fellow friends, THE SEAS WERE ANGRY TODAY! SPITTIN' MAD!

By today, I mean Thursday May 12-2006. Today, I threw on several layers of clothes, a rain suit, and a life jacket, and I headed out.......

WEATHER CONDITIONS: HIGH WINDS, 2-3 FOOT WAVES, HEAVY RAIN, 49 DEGREES.

This equals what a loony relative calls "good suicide weather"....


After 2 hours, bailing out the ol' boat three times, ripping the crotch out of my Eddie Bauer rain suit, having the Michigan DNR summer creel survey boat run over my line as he tried to get close as he thought I was sinking......Sinking? My oh my.....I was fishing....I know there was only 2" of the SS JITTERS not taking water over the side and 9" of water in the bottom of the boat, but I WAS FISHIN DAMNIT!


Long story short, when you can't fish because you have to bail ur boat every 40 mins and you catch a 3" bluegill while trolling for walleye.......GO THE HELL HOME!

AND LET IT ALL DRY OUT!


So as I headed home, I neared the boat launch and much to my wet ass' surprise, I noticed a DNR car parked with a guy watching me......I felt sick as I knew I had failed to pay the mandatory $5 launch fee.....I thought, "does this guy really so overinvested in his job that he is gonna yell at me and give me a ticket because I didn't pay the launch fee in the tube?" So, I hammered down (11.2mph) and headed back out into the ol' bitch.....I got into a channel, found COOP'S dad's new house on accident, drove by it laying in the bottom of my boat motionless, and kept checking on that fish cop car.......20 mins, 40 mins, 1 hr, HELL, THIS GUY IS WAY OVERINVESTED! I wanted to go home so bad, I was soaked!

Then I began to reason...."wait a minute dummy, thats a County launch......Allegan County......and thats a state DNR fishcop car......he doesn't enforce the launch tube!!!!!!!!!Wooooooooooo!"

I headed on in......It was the same damn summer DNR volunteer out doing the fish creel survey that ran over my line! He was so worried about me that he went to go home (after running over my line and checking on me) and stopped in the park to watch me to see if I got in to the launch o.k.....

"What are you doing? I've been sitting here waiting for you to get on land so I don't have to worry about you drowning?"

I smiled and said, "I was fishing........Just fishing......."