Alarm Clock Grill Nightmares and Deer Hair.....

I must tell you all of my experience on Thursday morn......To appreciate it, have you ever woke up and felt like you were in a panic and were supposed to be somewhere?

STORY BACKGROUND:

Well,I've known for some time now that I was supposed to bring a large grill I had stored for some friends at my house in the TEAM T GARAGE for a very large cookout at an event......I could sense the worry in their voice when they told me 28 times that the grill needed to be at a West Side Hall AT 2PM ON FRIDAY......

I volunteered to remove and store this large grill while my friends moved to a new location.....And I stored it in the TEAM T GARAGE (TTG) all last fall. A unique thing happens in my garage in the fall......I bring DEER that I shoot, field dress, and hang to be butchered in this multipurpose garage......Are you with me? So I cut up a deer and like most other flat elevated spaces in the garage, stuff gets thrown on it.....So about November, after the heat goes away, I have several deer hides hangin in my garage......

and I must say that I've had this plan to utilize the deer hides for years now.....I always end up "caping" the deer out with these illusions of grandeur that I'm going to make some sweet hanging tanned deer hide to put on the wall in my basement like I'm Davey Crockett or something. A museum of dead deer hides of sorts....

A few years back I fell prey to an "OUTDOORS BOOK CLUB" and thought I would make matching Clark Griswold family outfits for my whole family from the patterns in the book "Deer Hides and How to tan Naturally". Don't laugh, you've all done similar things.....Like that 13 book set you bought on "HOW TO SUCCEED AT EBAY" or the "CARLTON SHEETS BUYING REAL ESTATE FOR 50 CENTS" series.....Anyway, so I set the deer hide on the only uncovered flat surface in my garage, MY "FRIENDS" GRILL......

Much to my surprise, when I go out in TTG, I see this deer hide laying rolled up on the grill......But it looks odd. Fatter. More puffy....like maybe it's grown. So I go to examine it and discover that mice have infested the thing......They have chewed the inside to bits, and made four small colonies of DEER HAIR MOUSE CITY inside the damn grill.......And oh friends, is this grill greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasy!

New math equation for ya---->Greasy Grill+The Mouse Municipality of Deer Hair City (population 9)=A BIG PROBLEM. Deer hair sticks to anything but nothing better than a greasy grill!


As always here at TEAM T, I firmly believe in Visual Aids for concept retention......So here we go......Here's the problem:



















Can you feel the anxiety building? It took me about 8 hours of tearing the grill apart (after I got the courage to demolish the deer hair condo's the mice had built in the bottom of the grill) to get all this hair off.....Sigh of relief......Grill is operational.....Ready to go.....

The hairless grill, loaded in the Commanche Commander, ready for service!....Pictured here!















So, after working a good ol' life depleting black under eye circle making 3rd busy shift on Wednesday night, I went to bed......And of course, all I could dream about is getting this grill to the Hall on Friday.......

So I wake up Thursday and roll over non-chalantly to look at the alarm clock. Huh, 3:00 PM it so calmly displays in hot red letters.

I jump out of bed within 3 seconds of seeing the alarm clock......Immediately a fire ignites in my stomach......."YOU LET THEM DOWN! THEY ARE ALL WAITING TO EAT AND YOU LET EM DOWN MAN! HOW COULD YOU OVERSLEEP ON A BIG DAY LIKE THIS?" I jumped out of bed, ran to my dresser, grabbed what I thought was shorts and put it on. I sprint through the house and see the look of wonder on my family's faces as I continue outside....I am now realizing I'm wearing one of my swimsuits.......I open the TTG, whisk the 200 lb grill out, flip down the tailgate on the Commander, and with an adrenaline filled 159 lbs of white trash wonder I hoist the 200 lb grill without any difficulty into the truck bed....slam the tail gate, and start doing millasecond adrenaline fired eye twitching searches for the remaining items of the grill......And suddenly I feel a calm, well intended hand rest on my shoulder.

"Honey. It's O.K. It's THURSDAY. GO BACK TO BED"..........."THATS NOT UNTIL TOMORROW."

I think I have mental problems......G.I. Joe always said that "knowing is half the battle......"

And for all those that ate steaks and chicken off the grill today....and I made it there four hours early by the way today.....The grill was power washed and scrubbed and decontaminated of all mouse and eer remnants.....so RELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX.