BUSTED!

“Busted”

My bills are all due
And the babies need shoes
But I’M BUSTED

Cotton is down to a quarter a pound
And I’m busted

I got a cow that went dry and a hen that won’t lay
A big stack of bills that gets bigger each day
The county will haul my belongings away
I’m Busted!

I went to my brother to ask for a loan
I was busted
I hate to beg like a dog for a bone,
But I’m busted.
My brother said, “there ain’t a thing I can do,
My wife and kids are down with the flu,
And I was just thinkin’ of callin’ on you,
‘cause I’m busted!”

Johnny Cash-Folsom Prison Blues Album-“Busted!”

The Hillbilly Militia Annual Convention Photo Drop

Well, you've seen so many parts of my life here at TEAM T. There are a few parts I have only shared with a select few. I recently was able to calm the gnats flying around in my head and work out some unresolved equations in my mind. What a relief,wow. For now anyway. I sense storm clouds brewing, button down the hatches. Ever notice how green the grass is after a storm?

During our journey here on Almost Gun Lakers, you've seen the TEAM T Palace of Innovation, Redneck Inventions, and Wonder; The TEAM T Lawn Fleet, who could forget the Commanche Commander! The TEAM T TRUCKSTER (that piece of shit), The SS JITTERS PIKE/WALLEYE White Trash Trolling Barge. Well, today I have a surprise for you. Today, I introduce to you the Barry/Allegan County White Trash Hillbilly Militia!

Thats right, we meet annually to practice and keep the gang together. Let me show you the 2006 Annual Convention!

The opening exercises started at UNCLE KEITH's house in beautifully trashy DORR Michigan. As always, to maintain the health and speed of the militia, we began with calisthenics. The photo below is of just one of many exercises we perform each year, THE HORSESHOE AB SCULPTING THROW EXERCISE. This event always involves consumption of baked beans, brats hot off the FOP grill (hairless grill of course) and one or two ice cold beers. (one or two my ass. I think Uncle Keith bought a new riding lawn mower with just the returnables left behind!) Milwaukee's Best Light, Natural Light, and Busch Light are the only beers allowed.....Nothing fancy or unhillbilly at the HILLBILLY MILITIA PRACTICE. You would be proud to know that I took first in both exercises and won some dough! 'Bout 100 bucks o' dough!

Tactical Field Warfare and Enemy Engagement are always critical skills that need to be kept sharp. Engaging the enemy at the right time with precision is a must for any Militia. Join me now in the photo below with a live fire exercise of the 42mm Potato Launcher, our weapon of choice!


Quite a simple weapon really, as all the elements for this mighty beast can be purchased at Walmart and a plumbing store. As always at TEAM T, here's a schematic to help you embrace the concept!

A trivial concept for sure. Take PVC pipe and fasten it together, fill the firing chamber with some 1980's Aqua Net Hairsrpay, put the rear cap on, jam the potato down the barrel, and push the grill igniter. KABLAMMMMIEE!

Now, shooting and running are important. But nothing is more important than being able to take a hit or snatch a hot potato round comin' at ya while amidst the field of battle! Here you will see the safety procedures we go through at the convention to keep the enrollment numbers up! A catchers mask and baseball mitt are all you need! Wait, you need quite a bit of courage. Imagine standing about 50 yards away and hearing "pooooomp" as the beast fires. Within about 1/2 a second, that hot potato ball is at your doorstep and you have to react. Snap that glove up and grab her! Uncle Keith took a hot one to the thigh after he bragged about being able to snap it out of the air. He never even moved from the time the beast was fired to the time it his his leg with hot burning pain. Man was that funny! Put him down for the count and left a welt for 6 days!

After witnessing a live fire tragedy of Uncle Keith taking the burner, we improvised and changed the exercise to more of a carnival game. A piece of plywood with a bullseye was crafted by the Militia Engineering team. The training exercise now was to grab the potato before it scored a direct hit! If you click on this photo, It will zoom in and you will see the potato going at MACH 9 ready to explode on the target. Thank goodness that board was there because I would have took a hot one in the Jigger JEWELS!

Hope you enjoyed this post! I took a lot of time to craft it so you could glean some enjoyment, relaxation, and inner peace. Weather the storm of life folks, and look for that green grass after the storm!

Grouse

My proud dad with a beautiful wild Grouse he shot a couple days ago. I have pleasant memories of my Dad taking me hunting and fishing and turning me onto the outdoors. Thanks Dad!

Git Er Done!!!!!!!!!

LIFE IS NOT A JOURNEY TO THE GRAVE WITH THE INTENTION OF ARRIVING SAFELY IN A PRETTY AND WELL PRESERVED BODY,

BUT RATHER TO SKID IN BROADSIDE THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT OUT AND LOUDLY PROCLAIMING, WHAT A RIDE !!!!

I always fall into an affair each fall.....And I can't stop it!

Each fall, my longing turns to lust and I fall helplessly.....I'm talking about seeing junky trucks with campers, bargain camoflauge deals at 7-11 and Walmart, reading new deer hunting WINNING STRATEGIES books. It hasn't failed me yet, that ol' thorn in the flesh crops up each time the balmy summer air turns to crisp cool breezes....Pumpkins, dry and brown standing corn, Football, the smell of Thanksgiving, the leaves igniting into a blaze of lustful color.... I'm talkin' about deer hunting, turkeys, rabbit hunting, watching squirrels scurry to prepare for winter, countless hours in the woods and

Many a man who have died young have always said, "Nothing exceeds like excess!" So, I'm going to go "down that wrong road again" (song by Crystal Gayle) and indulge in this yearly cycle of infantile fantasy I have......White Trash Deer Hunting Camper Disease!!!!!!!!!!!

I unexpectantlay bursted into laughter after a long stint of too much extended work hours with little sleep....I was driving along the "divide" and passed this beauty in front of the "Army Store"....And suddenly, the disease kicked into full blown symptoms. I unwillingly swung that ol Ford Interceptor around and went back to indulge....

What a beauty! Just the perfect dosage for my illness of White Trash Deer Season Camper Disease! Truck has body damage.....

Very little ground clearance (3" max by my estimations) which would drive most consumers away....But in the full blown symptoms of the disease I am so blinded that I sluff it off with the old "I can fix that with some helper springs and new shocks." Yeah, ok Jiggers, did you know that this camper exceeds the manufacturers guidelines for the weight by triple?

Just when common sense, reason, and all the things that get in the way of real living step in to ruin everything, another stumbling block to fighting my disease and not having that affair steps in........Look at this! It's a bargain!

So, the end result? Did I buy it?




Nope. Took my reality pill and went home to go to bed. But the longing survives and the White Trash Deer Hunting Camper Disease continues! So much pondering on the way home.....I love my 1/2 hour drive....It is much needed wind down time...I often wonder if you can judge how much a person is at peace with themselves by how far they drive into work.....Short drive=accepting their situation. Long drive=Uneasy, needing that drive to "wind down".

I still tossed around that affair in my mind as I enjoyed the scenery on the way home.......The fantasy is not dead.

Watch Your Targets!

Man do I have pleasant memories of ol' Sgt Friend smokin' a cig at the firing range. Hell, he smoked right in the range house! Always had a pot of chili and a pot of coffee goin. Do you remember him yelling over the loud speaker, "IS THE LINE READY? IS THE LINE SAFE? WATCH YOUR TARGETS!" Do you remember that pungent smell of half treated sewage from the plant right next door? How about the "WARNING!WARNING! TRACK 11 IS MOVING!"

Well today was some quality time sharpening up the TEAM T girls. Watch your targets girls! (Beer cans) We loaded the BB guns to the hilt with rounds and took em out in the backyard. Lots of fun.

Hold your fire! The line is unsafe!




























Some markmanship training!


Stand by, we are re-facing the targets!

I present to you the all girl TEAM T Sniper TEAM!

I'm pretty confident I will never be a Firearms Instructor at work, BUT I'M LEAD FIREARMS INSTRUCTOR/ARMORER HERE!

Birthday Surprise for My Brother!

This year for my brother's birthday, I sat and thought about what he is passionate about. What type of gift would really grip his soul.....Make him feel a connection we share as brothers....Well, I knew right away what he needed....


So I took the head of the 6lb Walleye that I caught after filleting it out and put it in a FOODSAVER bag which pulls all the air out.....Froze it.....Put it in a box and mailed it to him.....Prior to sending it, I began a short propaganda campaign to get him into the surprise......I may have told him a lie and said the following clues:

1: It's something we are both passionate about.
2:It is related to Gander Mountain.
3:Its something you really enjoy to do.
4: Its worth about $300. Really? You might ask. If you saw the $ I've put into lures, gas, launch fees, poles, reels, a$$ kissing to the wife to go fishing-You would think it was easily worth $300 a piece for the three Walleye I've caught this year...


Here SHE IS ALL PACKAGED UP AND READY TO GO! A fresh frozen of the HOG WALLEYE!

LETS HOPE HE LIKES THE SURPRISE!


*******************************************UPDATE********************************************************

Talked to my brother today. His response, "You are an a$$hole!" We laughed together and shared a moment as brothers.

Happy Birthday Brother! I love you!

To my brother: Sometimes I envy you. The path you have taken. I'm proud of you. You have chosen to live in a place I'd love to live. You come and go as you please. Enjoy it!

The Team T Extended Family

Had birthday party/get together.....Here's the fam....Happy Birthday mom!




From left to right, my Dad and Mom, My wife/kids, My Brotherin law and his wife, my sister with their kids. And my younger brother.



I love you family!!!!

A weekend of Sucking the marrow out of life.....It can be exhausting!

It's been a long adventure filled weekend to say the least......Ol' Wierenga stopped over to check out my pole barn at 2330 and we shut her down about 0430.......Thanks for stopping stumpy! And thanks for the precious gift of your dad's fishing boat seat. God rest his soul and I will make sure the memory lives on in the TEAM T fishing boat! A weekend filled with family parties, catchin' hogs, one or two totties, and lots of memories! Overall, I'm exhausted.....But I feel like I'm "good" exhausted....

Rain Date

After three buddies cancelled fishing this morning because of rain, ball games, and a myriad of other excuses, TEAM T went out and hooked some hogs on Gun Lake!

This is my biggest Walleye yet! 6lbs and 27 inches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And a nice 26" pike as well!

Yes, it was storming, windy, rainy........But then again, sometimes ya gotta suck it up and be a man!


The baby blue lettering on this post is dedicated to the three wussies who stayed in bed......D. Wells, Showtime, and Manny.....

Picture of my neighbor's ass.

I have been faced with a dilemna currently at TEAM T almostgunlakers. I have battled with the concept of this post for some time now. You see, I have this crazy neighbor and she is a fan of the blog as well. For several weeks now, she has been begging me to post a picture. I looked at the picture and told her no way. I just felt that the picture had no educational value and pushed the limits a little bit and I didn't want to offend any of my readers. No, it wasn't pornographic.

So after battling over this idea for some time now, I asked myself, "how can you put this picture on the blog?" As I looked at the picture I started laughing. And it was then I decided to share it with you.

You see, it's a picture of my neighbors ass. That's right. She took it outside of her house in the broad daylight. And for some silly reason, she wants you all to see it. She told me that she is so proud of her ass that she wants your opinion.


So, HERE WE GO. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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A surprise from TEAM T Wife

She hit it dead on today......

Johnny Cash-Folsom Prison (cd)

Right on.....Right on....

It was nice after gettin' my ass chewed at work. You know, I forgot the value of a good ass chewing.....Kind of puts a jump in your step....

Fishin' For Memories~~~

Today TEAM T went perch fishin. I took two of my Princesses .....

We were up early to start the day....

Hot homeade pancakes and bacon....

A quick stop to the ornery lady at the bait shop.....I love consistently ornery people....I love being ornery back and getting them to crack a smile through their fake grimace...A picture of her didn't turn out but I will post one soon on another post...

The ducks were out feeding. Which makes me wonder, what do ducks think? I tried talking to this one and he just walked away after calling me a "quack."

Olivia got the only fish on of the day......And it came off at the boat....

Even made it to the ol' faithful Robbin's point and couldn't find my dear perchies.... Here is my top secret Perchin' spot and a storm brewin' above....I love storms!

For once, someone else was having calamities. It was such a breath of fresh air to sit back and see someone other than me involved in a disaster on ol' Gun Lake....I watched as this poor old man buried his truck on the launch. You all remember it wasn't very long ago that I sat in my camo boxers and life jacket holding my lil' fishin' buddy Pepper at this very launch. I was soaked and missing a motor! I haven't forgoetten the fat bellied fisherman who were smoking their cigars and laughing as I struggled to come to a solution. So, I wanted to help this ol' guy.

So, I paged the Commanche Commander into emergency service.....Put her in four wheel drive low....Then snapped his tow strap....WHOOPS. Man is that some power in my ol' girl! We then hooked up a chain and I walked him right out of his misery! The best part was that he never said thank you. Instead, he gave me a look and a nod that said perhaps he saw a glimpse of human kindness not too often displayed in this cold world anymore.

My pleasant surprise at the end of the day was a ticket from the Park Nazi's for neglecting to pay the boat launch fee in the pay tube....Must have slipped my mind:-)" PAY THE TUBE SIR! " My thoughts? it's after Labor day.....Who cares? I let people go on much worse.....RELAAAX.

.......

Today's tally was a bucket devoid of fish, BUT FULL OF MEMORIES!!!Thank you God for all the beauty you have thrown into my life. I'm not worthy to take it all in.

I need your interpretation of the x-rays.

Over the 171 posts on this blog, you have all had a peek into my soul, my mind, and a couple quick looks inside my heart.

Any thoughts?

Remember, you can post anonymously. I have no way to trace it...

Jitters

A lil' something to help me get ready for the day.

Every day I go down to my OWN PRIVATE REALLY MALE BATHROOM DECORATED IN FISHING GARB, there is a lil' guy doin' what I'd rather be doin.......I checked on him this morning and he had a FISH ON!


Keep on fishin' buddy and let me know what to use the next time I get out on the lake.

I'm Disgusted!

The following things frustate the shit out of me:

Complacency
Mediocrity
Laziness
Inability to solve problems.

I am so unhappy with what I see in human kind. Nobody seems to give a shit anymore! Embrace Life. Suck the marrow out of life. Show some passion folks, YOU ARE DYING.

There is hope. Eternal Hope. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about getting excited, passionate, and smiling about a simple fact, LIFE!!!

So, on the way to work, SING LOUD IN YOUR CAR. Smile. Get excited about something, anything. I'm talking about playing your guts out on your instrument on the deck of the ship as she goes down.

Run the race, battle the storms, JUMP ON THE SADDLE OF LIFE AND DIG YOUR SPURS IN! HANG ON FOR THE RIDE! KICK IT UP A NOTCH!

I don't believe in luck.

(Here is a picture of me deep in thought)
I was doing some heavy duty thinking today while mowing my lawn.....Seems like I spend 1/4 of my life with earplugs in my ears and I can't help but glisten through the thoughts going on in my circus head......So,

Here is today's thought for you to wrestle with. I don't believe in luck.......

Lucky people, it seems to me, tend to be busy people. They're people with goals and good humor who go about working hard to get what they've decided on. Surely luck often is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity. Better if we persist and persist some more, for then things begin to happen. We often get what we expect from life. Persistence tends to win out, and reaching goals that seem difficult to others is fairly easy, for the simple reason that so few are really trying, SO FEW PERSIST!

I do believe in persistence.......and God's blessing.

Fall

The perch have turned on. I know one thing doesn't lie about when it's fall, and THAT'S A PERCH!


Fall. A breath of fresh air...

TEAM T GOES WORLDWIDE WITH "ALMOSTGUNLAKERS"!!!

Got a comment from "Tommy".....

That's right, gunlakers has made it to Romania!!!!!!! He is in Romania and reading the blog! Drag your cursor over the above "tommy" or check out the comments on the last couple posts to see his site...

RELAAAAAAAX.....

Tonights agenda? Relaxing. Finally a night off from work!

I made the following purchases:

• Large bag of Tortilla Chips
• Bean Dip and Sour Cream/Chives Dip
• Couple packs o' cigs
• Small box o' beer for mama
• Large "best chest" box of Milwaukee's Best Light for me
• Mt Dew, Coke, Diet Coke

And..........

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Oh yeah! I'm just gonna relax and see if I can tame these nats flyin' around in my head...What better way than with My ALLTIME FAVORITE MOVIE.......:"WALK THE LINE".