The Hillbilly Militia Annual Convention Photo Drop

Well, you've seen so many parts of my life here at TEAM T. There are a few parts I have only shared with a select few. I recently was able to calm the gnats flying around in my head and work out some unresolved equations in my mind. What a relief,wow. For now anyway. I sense storm clouds brewing, button down the hatches. Ever notice how green the grass is after a storm?

During our journey here on Almost Gun Lakers, you've seen the TEAM T Palace of Innovation, Redneck Inventions, and Wonder; The TEAM T Lawn Fleet, who could forget the Commanche Commander! The TEAM T TRUCKSTER (that piece of shit), The SS JITTERS PIKE/WALLEYE White Trash Trolling Barge. Well, today I have a surprise for you. Today, I introduce to you the Barry/Allegan County White Trash Hillbilly Militia!

Thats right, we meet annually to practice and keep the gang together. Let me show you the 2006 Annual Convention!

The opening exercises started at UNCLE KEITH's house in beautifully trashy DORR Michigan. As always, to maintain the health and speed of the militia, we began with calisthenics. The photo below is of just one of many exercises we perform each year, THE HORSESHOE AB SCULPTING THROW EXERCISE. This event always involves consumption of baked beans, brats hot off the FOP grill (hairless grill of course) and one or two ice cold beers. (one or two my ass. I think Uncle Keith bought a new riding lawn mower with just the returnables left behind!) Milwaukee's Best Light, Natural Light, and Busch Light are the only beers allowed.....Nothing fancy or unhillbilly at the HILLBILLY MILITIA PRACTICE. You would be proud to know that I took first in both exercises and won some dough! 'Bout 100 bucks o' dough!

Tactical Field Warfare and Enemy Engagement are always critical skills that need to be kept sharp. Engaging the enemy at the right time with precision is a must for any Militia. Join me now in the photo below with a live fire exercise of the 42mm Potato Launcher, our weapon of choice!


Quite a simple weapon really, as all the elements for this mighty beast can be purchased at Walmart and a plumbing store. As always at TEAM T, here's a schematic to help you embrace the concept!

A trivial concept for sure. Take PVC pipe and fasten it together, fill the firing chamber with some 1980's Aqua Net Hairsrpay, put the rear cap on, jam the potato down the barrel, and push the grill igniter. KABLAMMMMIEE!

Now, shooting and running are important. But nothing is more important than being able to take a hit or snatch a hot potato round comin' at ya while amidst the field of battle! Here you will see the safety procedures we go through at the convention to keep the enrollment numbers up! A catchers mask and baseball mitt are all you need! Wait, you need quite a bit of courage. Imagine standing about 50 yards away and hearing "pooooomp" as the beast fires. Within about 1/2 a second, that hot potato ball is at your doorstep and you have to react. Snap that glove up and grab her! Uncle Keith took a hot one to the thigh after he bragged about being able to snap it out of the air. He never even moved from the time the beast was fired to the time it his his leg with hot burning pain. Man was that funny! Put him down for the count and left a welt for 6 days!

After witnessing a live fire tragedy of Uncle Keith taking the burner, we improvised and changed the exercise to more of a carnival game. A piece of plywood with a bullseye was crafted by the Militia Engineering team. The training exercise now was to grab the potato before it scored a direct hit! If you click on this photo, It will zoom in and you will see the potato going at MACH 9 ready to explode on the target. Thank goodness that board was there because I would have took a hot one in the Jigger JEWELS!

Hope you enjoyed this post! I took a lot of time to craft it so you could glean some enjoyment, relaxation, and inner peace. Weather the storm of life folks, and look for that green grass after the storm!