It's been a little time since I posted last and my mind is starting to buble over.....I must let it out, so HERE IT GOES..
I come to you today to address the STATE OF OUR UNION. It is time these things are said. I'm so sick and tired of people screaming about all the problems and who's fault they are. It is time that people are responsible for their own actions.
While watching a recent newscast, I noticed the news reporting on a "suspicious unknown white helicopter" hovering over the city during the escape of a local fugitive. Although the report merely skimmed over this "unknown white helicopter" I have to wonder if someone needs to get on the media and say "Ladies and Gentleman, we have a special report today. The government has agreed to the first and ever viewing of 'BIG BROTHER'. They have allowed our cameras for the first time into the secret office of the mysterious character." Oh how surprised people would be when the drooling obese man lurched and flailed in his chair. The crowd would be so surprised to see that BIG BROTHER IS SEVERELY RETARDED!
While I was still giggling to myself from the above listed mental picture, I watched as the escaped man's family screamed into the news camera "THEY SET HIM UP AND LET HIM ESCAPE SO THEY COULD KILL HIM!" HUH?. Not only was this savage beast captured, he was UNHARMED, UNBEATEN, and most importantly UNKILLED! This fact shows that the fantasitacal idea that police had some large plan to kill this guy either didn't work out so well or THEY USED SUCH GRACEFUL, PROFESSIONAL, AND CIVIC MINDED RESTRAINT IN HIS CAPTURE! I am growing vomitously tired of the fingers being pointed at the police. Perhaps it's time that someone stands up and says "ITS YOUR FAULT! YOU SCREWED UP! YOU BROKE THE LAW! YOU CALLED US AND WE CAME. THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY. IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED WE WOULDN'T BE HERE! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS! WE DON'T CARE ENOUGH OR HAVE THE TIME TO BE SETTING YOU UP FOR FANTASY CRIME! BIG BROTHER IS RETARDED! WE HAVE OUR OWN LIVES. WE ARE DOING THIS JOB TO PAY OUR BILLS, TAKE OUR KIDS TO GULF SHORES, AND GO TO GREAT WOLF LODGE OCCASSIONALLY."
And now to briefly address this "white helicopter". Are people so conspiracy minded that they believe that the City, State, or Federal Government give a shit if some guy escapes from the county jail? And do they really believe that the aforementioned government cares enough to pay a 5 person team of SUPER SECRET HELICOPTER PEOPLE to be based in what is truly a small suburban city in Southwest Michigan so that they can fly around and look for some local bandit? GET REAL! BIG BROTHER ISN'T THAT ORGANIZED!
Case and point:MOUNT PLEASANT, Mich. Some horsing around in a police squad room has ended with one officer being shot in the foot.
In closing, may I address the review of a few simple life crucial concepts in form of math equations:
ATTENDING SCHOOL=DIPLOMA
DIPLOMA+COLLEGE DIPLOMA=JOB
WORKING HARD AT JOB=PAY
and finally......stick with me here:
PAY=a house, food, health insurance, trips to Great Wolf Lodge, Beer, Deer Camps, fishing boats, ice fishing shanties, bunk beds for kids, plasma tvs with surround sound, IMAX, the Wringling Brothers Circus, Gander Mountain carts filled with camo stuff, Dish Network, waterskiing, jet skis, Lawn Jarts (can you buy these anymore?), big gas grills and big fat steaks to go on them, new kids's clothes, new clothes for you, intenet, digital cameras, DVR recorders(<------one of the most recent best inventions), big snowblowers with headlights, solar yard walkway lights, fireworks, big bowls of Honeycomb Cereal.
BUT MOST OF ALL,
PAY=BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT AND NOT WORRYING ABOUT BLACK OR WHITE HELICOPTER CONSPIRACIES SINCE YOU ARE FIRMLY ROOTED IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BIG BROTHER IS MILDLY RETARDED!
And remember, be responsible for your own actions! Don't blame it on a retard setting you up. I talked to him, he's stuck on watching Jeopardy at 7 on Wednesdays and really doesn't care what you are doing.
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